28 DOSL- Taylor 2023
I am Natalie Portman
“This is a silly affirmation. But it’s the one that I said without thinking during my session.
In that moment of “Oh shit, I did it!” when I put the clippers down, I needed a reminder that my hair isn’t everything. I remember hearing and seeing all the news about Natalie Portman’s shaved head in 2006 and how she owned it and looked amazing. So, when “I am Natalie Portman” slipped out in my moment of mild panic, it felt right. It was a reminder that I can rock a buzzcut too. I am owning it and I look amazing.
“Despite wanting to shave my head for a long time, it still felt scary. But I remember seeing pictures of Natalie Portman when she shaved her head and just thinking "Wow. That's badass." She was feminine and confident and had a buzzcut. That's the energy that I want to bring to my new do.
Since I debuted my new hair, people ask me, "Why did you do it?" I think I answer it differently every time. Here are a few of those answers:
▪️ I've been wanting to do a chop for a long time, so I used some "new year, new me" energy to make it happen.
▪️ I loved my hair. It was long, thick, healthy hair that I always considered to be one of my favorite physical features. Shaving it off became a way to practice non-attachment.
▪️ It scared me, so I had to do it. I love that quote that says, "life begins at the end of your comfort zone." It had just been too long since I did something that scared me.
▪️ There is this idea in my head of who a woman with a shaved head is. She is a badass. She holds her head high. She doesn't care what other people think. She knows her power and where it comes from. I quite literally used to hide behind my hair. I could look down at my desk and hide behind a curtain of hair, but that's not the person that I want to be. So, as someone who loves grand gestures and lacks the patience for incremental change, I just did it.
▪️ As a big, tall woman, I've struggled to feel physically feminine. However, my hair has always felt feminine to me, so cutting it off was a challenge to me to find my femininity in other ways. And it started with dangly earrings.
▪️Charlize Theron said that every woman should shave her head once in her life.
I had lots of reasons that shaving my head felt “big,” so I thought I would have this moment afterwards. I expected to feel "more." Like I would walk out feeling different, but I still felt like me. I spent a couple of weeks getting surprised when I looked in the mirror, but I forgot about the change to my physical appearance pretty quickly. However, in those moments when I feel insecure, afraid, or awkward, I tell myself, "I am a woman with a buzz cut" and do my best to inhabit everything that goes with it.” - Taylor
© All images copyright of Shelah Riley
